Using Formal and Informal Speech in Italian

Today I want to talk about a simple concept that sometimes can be very hard for Italian language learners because it might be something that does not exist in your language… i’m talking about formal and informa speech.

What do I mean by that? Obviously also in English and in many other languages that do not grammatically distinguish between these two ways of speaking there are options that allow for you to be more or less formal, you might be able to use different words or maybe address people by their last name or calling them with Mr or Mrs. In Italian like in many other European languages like French and Spanish we use a specific verb conjugation form to express formality or informality.

Let me explain what I mean…

ok so you know that the subject pronouns in Italian are

• Io (I)
• Tu (You)
• Lui / lei (He / she)
• Noi (We)
• Voi (You)
• Loro (They)

In order to create the formal and informal versions of speech you need to focus on

• TU and on LEI

TU is the second person singular and it will be used in INFORMAL conversations and LEI which is the third person singular will be used in FORMAL conversations. Take note that Lei even if it translates to "she" can be used for both masculine and feminine forms.

The general rule is that if you do not know the persona that you are talking to, so it’s the first time that you meet that person and you do not yet have a friendly relationship with them you should always address them with the forma LEI.

The formal form will be used also in terms of respect… so you will most likely use it with your boss at work, with a professor at school, with an elderly person or a neighbor that you know by name but not so much to use the informal speech.

Once this person is comfortable with you… usually they will tell you stop using the formal LEI and they will say something like

“Mi puoi dare del tu” which literally means you can give me the “you” form

or

“diamoci del tu” - which literally means let’s give each other the “you” form… so let’s be informal.

If somebody says this to you it means that they accept an informal relationship with you so when you speak to them you can be informal. You can use this form with friends, family, people you know and younger people (kid, teenagers).

You can say Ciao... and you can use the second person singular (TU) with your verbs.

Let’s look at some examples:

• Ciao come ti chiami? (Hi, what's your name?)
• Chiami is the second person singular of the verb CHIAMARSI (ti chiami)

• Oggi lavori in ufficio o da casa? (Today are you working from the office or from home?)
• Lavori is the second person singular of the verb LAVORARE (tu lavori)

• Hai bisogno di un passaggio a casa? (Do you need a ride home?)
• Hai is the second person singular of the verb AVERE (tu hai)

On the other hand a person might not appreciate your informality and they might highlight that you need to be more formal and use the “LEI” form

They might say something like

“Mi dia del Lei!” this literally means "use the formal she form”!

If somebody says this to you it means that they want to speak with you in a formal way.

Once again… You can use this form with people that you do not know, your boss, anybody that you think needs that little extra form of respect.

In this case you cannot say CIAO... it’s best to say BUONGIORNO, BUONASERA...and you have to use can use the third person singular (LEI) with your verbs.

Remember that Lei, in this case refers to both masculine and feminine.

Let’s look at some examples:

• Buongiorno come si chiama? (Good morning, what's your name?)
• Chiama is the third person singular of the verb CHIAMARSI (Lei si chiama)

• Oggi lavora in ufficio o da casa? (Today are you working from the office or from home?)
• Lavora is the third person singular of the verb LAVORARE (Lei lavora)

• Ha bisogno di un passaggio a casa? (Do you need a ride home?)
• Ha is the third person singular of the verb AVERE (Lei ha)

I know that this might sound strange and confusing if your language does not have similar rules! But do not worry!!! We Italians tend to be friendly so most of the time we accept the informal way of speaking! I think that it is always best to start off with the formal way and have a person tell you what their preference is you will not be embarrassed and for sure you will start off your relationship in the best way!

If you need further information on this topic please let me know!

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